Beyond the hair
The inevitable has happened: Aton’s hair has been modified. And all along we thought it was write-protected. Windows security these days…
In the next few weeks, you will witness the dorm community’s response to this drastic event:
- Denial. Dorm members will attempt to shield their eyes from Aton, lest their eyes confirm the truth that his hair is no longer bushy. But alas, it will be in vein: Aton will update his Facebook picture and comment on everyone’s walls, thus exposing everyone to the brutal truth.
- Disappointment. Dorm members will express their utter disappointment that Aton will now be incapable of breaking the current Guiness world record for hair maintenance¹ during his time at Stanford.
- Distrust. Dorm members will no longer be able to trust anyone with the task of “combing” Aton’s hair again.
- Downright anger. Each dorm member will be incensed and enraged that he or she was not the first to be informed of a(n) historic event such as this. Thus will begin the practice of checking and rechecking one’s e-mail religiously.
- Acceptance. As Aton’s hair very slowly grows bushy and fuzzy again, the Zapata community comes to accept that all in the world is subject to change. All will be right with the world again… someday.
¹ Thirty-one years, four months, one day, and 36 seconds.